Tag Archives: resolutions

It Might Not Be So Great

Posted in Home, Life by

I’ve never walked into a new year thinking It might not be so great until now.

Life is twisty and unpredictable and sometimes you get hair in your mouth.

For the most part, even when we feel jaded, our innate capacity for resilience shows up loud and proud. Without a second thought, we leave behind the bad parts of the last 365 days. We call them lessons and move on. We become strangely hyper-focused on all the good things that could happen. We try on the annual outfit of positivity and resolve to live better, be better, and do better. We’ll miraculously see the magic in new beginnings and reinstate the effort, compassion, and enthusiasm we so eagerly started the prior year off with. We wish things into existence. That all sounds so nice. But if life has done its job, we should know better than to repeat these strange, meaningless rituals. We should know better than to blindly predict greatness or pretend that a positive attitude makes all the difference. I mean, the power of positivity is a thing, so if you can, by all means, be positive. But the power to change the trajectory of an entire year? Silly rabbit.

You do you. As for me, I’ll trudge my tired ass into 2024 after a year (several years) that beat me up a bit. I’m sure it kicked your butt a little bit, too. All years do. And all years have really great moments. I can’t discredit that. But I know with profound certainty that some of the roads ahead will be a bit bumpy—even a bit scary. But when I know better, I do better. So instead of fake positivity, I will stick to brutal honesty.

I’ve walked away from plenty of years knowing that they weren’t the best; wishing I had done more, achieved more, tried harder, worried less, cared less, been braver, been kinder, acted differently, told people how I felt, allowed myself to feel, given myself more time, affected meaningful change—all the things. I’ve never walked into a new year thinking This year might not be so great until now. But I’m okay with that.

2024, I have no power over you no matter how hard I wish. I do not welcome you with open arms. You can’t set my expectations. I’ll silently say goodbye to 2023, which feels better to say than, “Happy New Year.”

2024 will not be great. But if it somehow magically is, how much sweeter will it be?

Another Ball Falls. Pick it up.

Posted in Home, juggle, Life, self help by

Keeping new years resolutions is hard. For that reason, my 2017 resolutions were simple:

Be happy.
Stay Strong.
Love.

I can confidently say there were points all throughout the year where I accomplished all of those things, but there were certainly times when I did not follow those rules–and that’s okay. It’s too damn hard to keep it together all the time and if I’m not okay with that, well then that diminishes my happiness and strength and I’m back to square one.

We all need to find a way to keep ourselves mentally strong and the above resolutions were developed around just that–my emotional stability. I also snuck in a resolution centered on my physical ability:

Learn to juggle.

I began my juggling journey eager and with a great deal of confidence until I realized what a challenge it would be, and as with most resolutions, I slowly but surely gave up, moved on, and pushed it to the back of my mind. That’s to say, I forgot about it until about three weeks out from the new year.

Being someone who hates to fall short of physical goals I set for myself, I panicked­–hard-core panicked. I was determined to meet this goal come hell or high water. From that moment on, I spent time each day practicing–uncontrollably bouncing balls (or fruit) off walls, counters, floors, and my face, but even with all that practice, December 31st showed no progress–just the sound of limes smacking the floor, which annoyed my husband to no end.

Halfway through the day, I switched to spiky dryer balls and about 15 minutes before the clock struck midnight, for the first time (and with much encouragement and help from my husband), I was able to keep two balls in the air for seven to ten consecutive rotations!!! I’d found success–one marked by limited time, growing pressure, dents in the floor and my face. The greatest kind.

Although mission accomplished, it taught me (or reminded me once again) that even goals that seem attainable, (like 365 days to keep two objects in the air for a very short amount of time) can fall short of success if one is not resolute. More importantly, we humans never reach our full potential by cramming. I’m sure with a little practice each day (slow and steady) I could have joined the circus or at least met my goal with more confidence and pride. My speedy shortcut certainly got me to my goal but in no way did it represent perfection.

To wrap up:

In 2017, I was happy for moments. I stayed strong as best I could. And I certainly loved. I also learned to juggle–maybe not as defined by Barnum & Bailey but certainly as defined by Siri.

jugg

Since all of that worked out so well, I have chosen new challenges for 2018.

My goals to strengthen my emotional stability are:

Recognize good moments. (There will be plenty of them.)
Do not be paralyzed by sadness or pain. (It will come but it will pass.)

My physical ability resolution will remain a secret unless of course, I succeed. If my character and determination prove strong, you will find out next year. Until then, slow and steady my friends.

God bless you all in 2018!

For your viewing pleasure, here are some stills of some of my many failed attempts…