I’ve never walked into a new year thinking It might not be so great until now.

For the most part, even when we feel jaded, our innate capacity for resilience shows up loud and proud. Without a second thought, we leave behind the bad parts of the last 365 days. We call them lessons and move on. We become strangely hyper-focused on all the good things that could happen. We try on the annual outfit of positivity and resolve to live better, be better, and do better. We’ll miraculously see the magic in new beginnings and reinstate the effort, compassion, and enthusiasm we so eagerly started the prior year off with. We wish things into existence. That all sounds so nice. But if life has done its job, we should know better than to repeat these strange, meaningless rituals. We should know better than to blindly predict greatness or pretend that a positive attitude makes all the difference. I mean, the power of positivity is a thing, so if you can, by all means, be positive. But the power to change the trajectory of an entire year? Silly rabbit.

You do you. As for me, I’ll trudge my tired ass into 2024 after a year (several years) that beat me up a bit. I’m sure it kicked your butt a little bit, too. All years do. And all years have really great moments. I can’t discredit that. But I know with profound certainty that some of the roads ahead will be a bit bumpy—even a bit scary. But when I know better, I do better. So instead of fake positivity, I will stick to brutal honesty.

I’ve walked away from plenty of years knowing that they weren’t the best; wishing I had done more, achieved more, tried harder, worried less, cared less, been braver, been kinder, acted differently, told people how I felt, allowed myself to feel, given myself more time, affected meaningful change—all the things. I’ve never walked into a new year thinking This year might not be so great until now. But I’m okay with that.

2024, I have no power over you no matter how hard I wish. I do not welcome you with open arms. You can’t set my expectations. I’ll silently say goodbye to 2023, which feels better to say than, “Happy New Year.”

2024 will not be great. But if it somehow magically is, how much sweeter will it be?